Tuesday, April 4, 2017

religion

On Monday a man decides that he feels an emptiness in his heart and that it's about time to go find a religion. He decides that he will go to various religious temples in the city and see what is the right religion for him.

On Tuesday he sets off. On his walk he gets hungry so he stops and gets a bacon double cheeseburger. He then heads to the local mosque; but the imam tells him "I'm sorry, if you are a muslim you can't eat bacon, it is haram" so the man sighs and say "ah, then maybe this is not the religion for me"

On Wednesday he sets off. On his walk he gets hungry so he stops and gets a double cheeseburger, remembering what happened yesterday. He then heads to the local synagogue; but the rabbi tells him "I'm sorry, if you are a jew you can't eat cheese and beef together, it is not kosher to mix two parts of the same animal" so the man sighs and say "ah, then maybe this is not the religion for me"

On Thursday he sets off. On his walk he gets hungry so he stops and gets a double hamburger, remembering what happened yesterday. He then heads to the local temple; but the swami tells him "I'm sorry, if you are a hindu you can not eat beef as we consider cows to be holy" so the man sighs and say "ah, then maybe this is not the religion for me"

On Friday he sets off. On his walk he gets hungry so he stops and gets a chicken burger, remembering what happened yesterday. He then heads to the local church; but the priest tells him "I'm sorry, if you are a catholic you can not eat chicken today as it is good friday" so the man sighs and say "ah, then maybe this is not the religion for me"

On Saturday he sets off. On his walk he gets hungry but remembers all the problems he's had over the past week, and just gets a coffee. He then heads to another local church; but the minister tells him "I'm sorry, if you are a mormon you can not drink coffee as it has caffeine and this is not permitted" so the man sighs and say "ah, then maybe this is not the religion for me"

On Sunday he sets off. On his walk he gets hungry but decides enough is enough and buys nothing. He then heads to a local temple; but nobody greets him, he is met with silence. He waits a minute, then says "hello?" before the entire buddhist congregation yells back "SHUT UP WE ARE MEDITATING"!

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